“Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.”Alan Watts
Defining something involves marking the boundaries around it. These boundaries, by definition, are always seperate to the something.
We define things in relation to other things.
An apple is not an apple because it’s an apple.
It’s only an apple because it isn’t an orange, pear, or watermelon.
Our understanding of what dictates an apple is entirely defined by our relation to the apple.
When we say we know what an apple is, what we mean is that we know what an apple is in relation to us.
In relation to us, apples are food.
They tend to be red, sweet, juicy, and around the size of our fists.
So why are tomatoes not apples also?
We know the difference not because we know what apples are and what tomatoes are, but because we know what each aren’t.
Apples are apples because they aren’t tomatoes.
Tomatoes are tomatoes because they aren’t apples.
And neither happen to be food when in relation to sea cucumber. To the sea cucumber, the apple and the tomato both happen to be strange spherical objects getting in the way of its algae buffet.
Don’t be fooled into thinking you can define yourself. The universe, and everything in it, is already doing that for you.
You have absolutely no control over what you are, but you have complete authority over what you do. So relax, do things you love, and let that inform what being you means to everything else.