Komodo Dragons Are Infanticidal Pricks

I was just going about my business when out of nowhere my sister de-railed my day with a horrible little nugget of wisdom from the zoo – which I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since.

Let’s have a quick chat about the largest lizard on earth.

They smell with their tongues, can swim between islands, possess venom which thins the blood of their prey and can reproduce asexually, laying 15-30 eggs at a time.

Pretty cool, right?

Wrong.

What would you say if I told you that baby Komodo dragons made up approximately 10% of an adult Komodo’s diet?

If you’ve got 30 babies, what else are you going to do with them?

These little Komodo dragons spend the early stages of their lives in the treetops – purely for the fact that mature Komodos can’t climb up and eat them.

When they do eventually muster the bravery to explore the ground, it’s common for baby Komodo dragons to cover themselves in the faeces of adults to avoid being cannibalised.

I repeat; baby Komodos coat themselves in their parent’s crap so that their parents don’t eat them…

Facts like this often leave me awestruck by how far removed we are from the savage realities of the natural world.

Humans are weird, but nature certainly has our number.

While definitely the most disturbing, this isn’t even the nastiest aspect of a Komodo’s eating habits.

If you’ve never seen footage of a Komodo hunting its prey, allow me to paint you a picture.

Hot tip: Don’t youtube this. It’s flat-out brutal and you’ll probably wind up on whatever animal cruelty watch-list I’m now on.

If a Komodo wanted to eat you it would storm up, take a bite, then casually follow you around until you’d lost so much blood that you couldn’t defend yourself. Once you looked delirious enough, it’d commence eating you alive. Bones and all.

Next time you’re having a rough day, try putting yourself in the shoes of a baby Komodo; dripping in your mother’s crap, trying desperately to scale a tree as the creature who brought you into the world snaps hungrily behind you, charging at you with all her might and evey intention of eating you whole.

If the baby Komodo can find a way, we probably can too.

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