respect

“All finite play is play against itself.”

James P Carse

To play to win is to play with the hope that the game will be completed (and that you will emerge victorious.

But our likelihood of winning finite games is dependant upon how adept we are at playing infinite ones.

There’s no point winning a game in such dramatic fashion that your competitors will be unable to play again.

It isn’t worth fighting so hard that you injure a valuable training partner in the same way it isn’t worth hoarding so much that your neighbour cannot afford to play games with or alongside you.

While some competition keeps games lively, competitiveness at its extreme is counterproductive to play.

Strive to play for the sake of play. And, if you must seek victory, do so with a humility, respect and honour which ensures your play, and the pay of others, will carry on.

Activism isn’t a word we’ve had for a long time. Google Books data shows that the word wasn’t popularised until midway through the 20th Century – around the same time that Amnesty International was founded by two lawyers in 1961.

The popularisation of activism directly correlates with the rise of the human rights, civil rights and women’s rights movements.

The graph below displays the use each word or phrase over time.

(Graph via Google Books Ngram Viewer)

The dictionary definition of activism is, “the activity of working to achieve political or social change, especially as a member of an organisation with particular aims”.

I’m fortunate enough to know some incredible activists, and they have me believing that activism at its core is more specifically about relating to people, connecting with them and inspiring participation.

“Activism is any action that increases valued participation in the future.”

– A Wise Friend

For an individual to be an active participant in any democracy, they must seek out political relations with other members of their communities.

As people discuss and build relationships around the values which they hold dear, variations between those values and the values held by their democracy are highlighted.

When enough people band together around shared values which aren’t represented by the democracy they exist within, movements are born.

Progress will always involve the participation of the people who are suffering, but for a movement to build enough momentum to affect the values of a society, the voices of the people often need to be listened to, organised and amplified.

It follows that a person’s participation in the democratic process is most valuable when their values aren’t being represented by the democracy they live in; or when they are relating to someone for which this is true.

Activists and community organisers have been at the forefront of this kind of work throughout some of the biggest social movements the world has ever seen – and there are plenty more to come.

Some people are under the illusion that they can change another person’s mind by being more ‘correct’ than them.

Usually, this isn’t the case.

At least, being correct isn’t the only requirement to changing somebody else’s mind.

One of the best teachers I ever had later admitted to me that one of her favourite things to do in class was to facilitate class discussions that didn’t feel like they were relevant, even though they were.

Sometimes it’s easier to trick people into learning than it is to actually teach them.

When we learn, it’s usually in one of two ways; either we were already primed to learn, and were open to and anticipating new ideas; or we were made to feel like the new idea is something we came up with ourselves.

This means that if you’re trying to pass on ideas, be it as a coach to your team, a communicator to your partner or and teacher to your children, you have consider;

Does the person I’m speaking to want to understand the idea I have to share?

If the answer is no, it doesn’t matter how right you are. If you can’t find another way to communicate your ideas, they’ll never be received.

Screaming righteously into the ether is all well and good.

But being able to change someone’s mind by helping them rethink their entire perspective on a problem is that’s priceless.

Especially if you can relinquish the credit and empower them to feel like they got there themselves.

All effective teams have three things in common;

  • A shared goal which excites them;
  • communication strategies which enable them;
  • and accountablily methods which keep them on track.

At the end of the day, this leaves you responsible for being a part of things you care about; communicating with respect, honesty and kindness; and doing the work you say you’ll do.

If your current workplace prohibits you from doing one of these things, you’re in the wrong workplace.

If you’re unable to do these things in any workplace, the change probably needs to come from you.